Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Heartbeats and wizards and business, oh my

More Wednesdays, more shotgunning. Although, in light of world events as of late, I may have to start calling it "Shotfunning"... sounds less painful that way.

Anyways, first up we've got proof that, just like teenagers the world over, professional authors have just too much time on their hands, and obsess like drooling fanboys over other people's works. Specifically, the phenomenon that is Harry Potter has spawned two of America's top authors to plead with J.K. Rowling concerning her final book. John Irving, creator of "The World According to Garp", and Stephen King, creator of a whole pile of books meant to scare the pants off of people, have collaborated to beg Rowling to not kill of Potter in the final book. Mind you, she hasn't actually said who will die in the story, but she has made it clear that at least two main characters will see the final pages from inside the literary equivalent of a pine box. It seems a bit odd for King to be requesting saving a character, given that he carved his own career by liberally killing off characters left and right from his stories. Of course, he has yet to completely kill of his acting career. Maybe his next book needs to feature a celebrity who spouts anti-Semitic diatribes while engaging in a rampage against cops. King can play the gruff police chief.

Moving on, when is big business not really all that big? Apparently, when it shows up on the list of businesses that the White House has given grants to. In an effort to make themselves seem more small-business friendly, the WH has gone so far as to refer to companies such as the Associated Press, ExxonMobil and Microsoft as small business when talking about grants given to such organizations. Honestly, it's hard to think of many larger businesses that could have received government money. Of course, the companies claim that they were misrepresented by the WH itself, saying that they never referred to themselves with the designation of "small". This seems entirely possible, as I'm sure that GDub calls Halliburton a "Mom & Pop startup."

And what of GDub and his recent physical exam? Well, the man who launched a war that appears to have no end with Iraq, steadfastly refuses to encourage peace resolutions between Israel and Hezbollah, and who is constantly under fire for taking the democracy we call America into increasingly imperialistic directions somehow has a resting heart-rate comparable with professional athletes. Other items of note from the physical are that he's gotten a little fatter since his last physical (both in terms of weight gain and body fat percentage), that he rarely experiences acid reflux, and that his long distance vision is slipping. Well, in all honesty, pretty much everyone in the global community, doctor or not, could have told you that GDub's long distance vision was slipping. After all, he thought that Iraq would be a quick engagement, and he firmly believes (still) that Israel is right on the verge of wiping out Hezbollah and returning to the "peaceful" relations they've always had with the rest of the Middle East.

To quote Mel Brooks, apparently, "It's good to be the king."

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