Monday, August 07, 2006

Take two and call me in the morning

Those wacky German scientists, always experimenting with something new. Well, if their recent development holds up and can be useful for humans as well as flies and mice, then we may actually have something here. Basically, for all intents and purposes, the Germans are developing what they're referring to as an "anti-stupidity pill". This pill is purported to stop short-term memory loss, increase alertness, and other effects could be noticed if it turns out to be effective on creatures that can talk.

Just think of the possibilities. One pill, if it works, could allow you to remember where you set your keys down when you got home from work. It'll keep you from missing deadlines, because you'll be able to recall them before they pass. Your spouse will stop hating you for forgetting their birthday and your anniversary. Hollywood will be forced to take risks with entirely new stories, as opposed to remaking classic film and television into a new, watered-down form. Rob Schneider and Jon Heder will stop getting cast.

And, if this drug really works, then the first people who need it are in Austria. Why is there such a need just southeast of where the drug is being researched? They pay Paris Hilton $1m just to wave at people. Seems to me like medicating the Austrians might be a good way to stop this practice. It's really too bad that no drug in existence is strong enough to save us all from more Paris.

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