Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Saved by the what now?

Less than a day after we receive the glorious word that Paris Hilton has been officially charged for her DUI (no worries, she'll get the obligatory celebrity slap on the wrist), we are met with a much more distressing story. It appears that Dustin Diamond, best (perhaps only?) known for his years on Saved by the Bell as Screech Powers, allegedly has a sex tape.

Seriously? Screech is getting it on with anyone? That's almost as frightening of a concept as the thought that a government might take out ads to protect themselves from a film they don't find funny.

What? That happened too?

Ok... let's look at this a little more closely. Sure, DD has some clout. After all, he is slightly more famous than the majority of people to come out of Saturday morning programming. We'll ignore the fact that most Saturday morning programming, at least traditionally, has been cartoons for years. So DD might actually be able to translate his "fame" into getting some nooky. But really, what women would allow him to tape it? Or engage in the acts that are (supposedly) taking place on the tape?

This could all be an extension of DD's pitiful plea from earlier in the year, where he begged people to buy t-shirts from him in an attempt to save his house from foreclosure. After all, when the biggest thing on your resume is almost ten years of Saved by the Bell, wouldn't you try and publicize a sex tape, to try and do something to shed your geeky image? It's not like he's Dennis Haskins, who has shots on his IMDb page that show him looking a bit like a child pornographer.

And to think, Elizabeth Berkley already jumped this shark with Showgirls.

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