Wednesday, October 18, 2006

As the world turns

It almost sounds like something coming from the pages of a comic book. Heck, it sounds an awful lot like the premise behind NBC's Heroes, although not quite as super-powered. Scientists have published a recent study that shows that, eventually, the human race could split into two main subspecies.

Of course, the eventually that these scientists are talking about is around 100,000 years in the future.

Dr. Oliver Curry, the leading researcher behind the study, is already guessing that, within the next thousand years or so, the genetically blessed are going to average between six and seven feet tall, and be more physically attractive, more intelligent, and more creative than the genetic underclass. The cause behind all of this? Dr. Curry is blaming sexual selection, the process of being a little selective about who we procreate with, as opposed to just grabbing the first person we see at last call.

Aside from wondering exactly how this applies to people now, the other question that's being begged is, hasn't this already started happening, to an extent? Don't we already have a genetic upper- and lower-class? After all, look at a good portion of the celebrities we have out there. There are people who are famous simply because they look good. There are others who are equally famous for how horrible they look (Parisite Hilton springs to mind). And we most definitely have a genetic lower-class. One needs look no further than West Virginia to see that truth brought brutally to the forefront.

Of course, Dr. Curry makes bold predictions that, if people continue to be selective about their breeding patterns, we will eventually be left with race of square-jawed men and women with perky breasts, to combat the race of deformed "goblins" that are left behind. As we all know well, thanks to Peter Jackson, these differences will lead to war, a war that can only be finished by one of the goblins throwing the one ring made from the sinews of Emperor for Eternity GDub into the fires of Mt. Everest. Or Kilimanjaro.

Or the goblin will put on the ring and believe itself to be invisible, all while attacking any foreign country that looks at him sideways.

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