Monday, October 23, 2006

If the gloves don't fit, well... you know

Eleven years after the infamous trial that kept him out of prison, and almost eleven years since the civil case that found him guilty and ordered payments to the families, OJ Simpson is stepping back into the spotlight cast on him by the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. And he's doing it in possibly the worst-conceived way possible.

He's writing a book about how he could have done it.

True, Simpson is claiming that the accounts in the alleged book deal (alleged because nobody has owned up to wanting to publish as of yet) are simply "hypotheticals", but it still casts an odd light on the crime. The working title of the book is supposedly "If I Did It", which could cause millions to pause when they see it and question the usage of the word "If".

Simply put, Simpson has continued to profit since the trials, both from his football career, and, seemingly, from the very act that people continue to look at him skeptically for. The merest notion of publishing a book by Simpson revolving around the murders seems to be not only in bad taste, but an ill-advised marketing move.

If this book is truly going to be coming to bookstore shelves sometime soon, then I would like to humbly suggest making it into a series of books, all by different authors. For example, you could release Adolf Hitler's book "If I Did It: Memoirs of a Failed Art Student", R. Kelly's "If I Did It: Problems Finding a Toilet", and Madonna's "If I Did It: Kidnapping from Malawai".

Of course, it's probably just a matter of time before we find Mel Gibson's tell-all, "What Do You Mean 'If', Sugartits?"

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