A silver lining

Ladies and gentlemen, one of the longest, darkest times in our storied history as a nation has finally come to a close. The sun is shining, children are rejoicing in the streets, and puppies and kittens are peacefully co-existing, all while we sip wine no longer made bitter.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are friends again.

This news can only serve to bring joy to our hearts, as the two anorexia-fueled celebutantes can finally put aside the rough patch of their lives where they didn't acknowledge each other (to be fair, they were probably simply standing perpendicular to each other, consequently making them invisible to the naked eye) and move on to more important things, like the creation of Simple Life 6. I know that a great many of us were worried that this facsimile of a friendship was doomed when the two first started fighting, and we all had fears that neither girl would be able to keep their ice cubes down for too long, because of the anger boiling inside of them. But this tragedy has passed, and we as a nation can once again rejoice.

Of course, it is entirely possible that the Parisite started seeing the miniscule fan base she has crumbling around her, amidst DUIs and interesting baggies, and threw a bone at Nicole (not a real one... she wouldn't want to knock the poor girl down) to have the two reunite for another season of their insipid "reality" show. Nicole, somehow still the least talented and yet most famous Richie, of course accepted the offer, oddly seeing Paris as a giant walking hot dog covered in mustard.

Great. Now how am I going to get THAT image out of my head.