Tuesday, November 21, 2006

After this, we'll tackle unemployment. Then a nap.

Thanks to the USDA, there will no longer be any hungry people in the country. Now, before we all get excited about the concept of plentiful food for everyone, we need to realize that what's actually happening is the federal government is simply dropping the word "hungry" from their vocabulary. This is due to a survey conducted by the USDA that simply didn't "have a measure for that condition."

The recent obliteration of "hungry" from the government's vocabulary follows trends over the course of the past few years where food-assistance programs have been cut, and the number of Americans who feel that they don't have enough money to purchase the food they need to survive has gone up. But thankfully, those people will no longer have to go hungry. Now they will be described as having "very low food security". That should certainly make them feel better when they're trying to figure out exactly how to make that box of store brand macaroni and cheese last for a week with a family of four.

Part of the problem, of course, is that our current administration seems to actually be gullible enough to believe that, if you simply change what words are used, you can change the condition. They can now add "low food security" to the list of terms that has been applied to change the perception of a condition without changing the condition, much like "insurgency" and "mandate".

Now that the USDA has come forward and removed "hungry" from the government vocabulary, maybe we can get started on some of those other terms that we don't like much either. After all, if we get them quickly enough, then the homeless will only need to make new signs that say "Job security deficient. Low food security. Will work for improved financial standing."

Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I should have referred to them as "shelter-impaired".

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