Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dude, it's like, your move

Finally, drug testing is being taken seriously, especially at the Asian Games. How can we tell? Well, when the international body governing tournament chess has decided that it's fed up with the possibility of drug-enhanced players, we know that the epidemic is finally going to be curtailed.

Wait. That can't be right. Pardon me while I check the story again.

Yep. It's right. Chess players gearing up for the Asian Games this December are facing the possibility of drug tests after rounds. This really is getting serious.

After all, think about it. Drugs can be used to enhance physical performance, as so many baseball players have proven recently. But can they possibly be used to enhance the game of mental athletes? Could there be a wonder drug out there that will give chess players an unfair advantage over the non-dopers in their little world?

When one thinks of chess, one tends to picture a fairly slow moving game, with very carefully thought out moves. When one thinks of drug use, the notion of carefully thought out is generally carefully tossed out the window. And yet we have to worry about chess players doping for an edge.

Of course, now I can't help but picture chess being played by a couple of stoners. Although I'm sure that checkmate was declared after either a) the first player was able to king one of his pawns, a la checkers, b) the pizza showed up, or c) that really kicking Phish song started playing on the radio.

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