Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Scalpel! No, forceps!

It should have been routine. After all, it was merely an appendix operation, one of the more common forms of surgery performed worldwide. And yet, somehow, in the middle of the operation, a couple of surgeons stormed away from the patient, leaving their life hang in the balance.

Ok, maybe that's a little to E.R. for what actually happened, but the two surgeons did leave the patient to fight with each other, leaving the attending assistant to finish the operation. Luckily for all involved, there were other doctors able to complete the procedure, due to either a lack of romantic entanglement, problems involving Junior Mints, or the entire staff working hard to save one of their own.

According to witnesses, one of the doctors, Dragan Vukanic, entered the operating room, and made a few snarky comments, getting the ball rolling on the fight. Not to be outdone, the surgeon working on the patient at the time, Spasoje Radulovic, made it known that the comments were unnecessary. Isaiah Washington came in and said something disparaging about homosexuals. And, before you knew it, Radulovic and Vukanic had left the operating room, getting into a fight that resulted in bruises, split lips, and a broken finger.

Now, while we here at the CSM can't begin to pretend that we've spent a lot of time in hospitals, we can admit that we've certainly seen a few episodes of hospital television shows. Our observations have caused us to learn a few things. First off, if your fellow surgeon makes a catty comment towards you, the revenge tactic you should display is by proving yourself the better of the two doctors. In lieu of that, sleep with their significant other, knowing that your shared infidelity will be scorn enough. Secondly, a stern chief of staff, perhaps with a cane and a lack of humor, could have kept the situation from boiling over, until the point where there were no options other than hugging it out over a beer. And finally, while you may have fought, there will be that patient who will come into your hospital, requiring you and your enemy to put your differences aside all in the name of the Hippocratic Oath.

Or, there'll be a super-intelligent janitor who'll be at the root of all your problems, but you'll be able to laugh it off. Either way, bad form, Drs. Radulovic and Vukanic. We had hope for the surgeons in Belgrade, but you have shown us just how far you have to go.

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