That's discouraging

A recent poll conducted by Unilever, the company behind brands like Axe, Bertolli, Country Crock, and Dove, sheds some light into the priorities of women. In fact, the study showed that, on average, women would be willing to give up sex for over a year if it meant that they got a new wardrobe, with some even being willing to obstain for three times as long just for the new duds. In fact, over half polled would rather not have sex for a month than lose their favorite shirt.

The study conducted by Unilever also showed that women tend to hold onto their favorite clothes longer than they hold on to their favorite partner, and that the vast majority feel that they can fall in love instantly with clothing. Barely half feel the same way with regards to a potential mate.

Needless to say, this type of report can really burst a lot of guys bubbles, so to speak. After all, what man wants to hear that their girlfriend believes her clothes can make her feel sexier than he can ever hope to? And yet, this should really come as no surprise. After all, the stereotype of the gruff, unsensitive man exists for the same reason all stereotypes exist. Because, on some base level, the stereotypes resonate with some level of truth. Yes, women tend to be more comfortable and more attached to their clothes than to their men, but come on. How often do men really support women in all the ways possible? What man was ever designed to cause feelings of confidence and sexiness without giving too much away? What man can answer without either fear or laughter when asked if those jeans make her butt look big? So no, ladies and gentlemen, the results of this survey should truly surprise nobody.

In a related survey that will remain unpublished, the vast majority of men declared that they would go naked if it ensured that they got sex more often. Sadly for a number of the men surveyed, they've gone without sex for over a year due to a little something we like to call discriminating tastes.

On the part of their well-dressed dates.