Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Say it ain't so

The steroid scandal raging through the professional sporting world keeps claiming more victims. While some of the past names tied to the scandal have ranged from Jose Canseco to allegations against Barry Bonds, before spiraling straight back to Canseco, a new sport is seeing some of it's stars pulled into the fray. That sport, or sports entertainment, if you will, is professional wrestling.

We know what you all must be thinking. How on earth could anyone ever assume that WWE Superstars could ever step into such a tawdry realm, allowing their bodies to be pushed to preposterous levels through the use of drugs? How will we ever have faith in these athletes, who have inspired so many for so long, now that we know the sham behind the physiques? Why does that suddenly explain how someone can be knocked unconscious with a chair, only to, mere moments later, find the will to defeat their opponent in stunning fashion?

Of course, this IS the world of professional wrestling we're talking about. The sport is practically synonymous with overhyped (and overpumped) body builders with a penchant for wanting to take some aggression out on each other in a homoerotic way. These are the men who have put in as many hours in the gym as Schwarzenegger did in his prime, and have more acting chops in their little finger than Stallone has in his entire furrowed brow. And yes, this is an organization which has brought more participants back from the dead (both in the retirement and in the voodoo senses) more times than you can shake a syringe at. So the notion that some professional wrestlers may feel the need to get a little juiced up before getting into that steel cage match shouldn't really strike anyone as much of a surprise.

Perhaps it's actually a sign that the steroid story is running out of steam, and good new villains. After all, with many of the names previously mentioned, they've either outright admitted it, or they've thumbed their nose at the notion in some of the most arrogant ways possible. By lumping members of the WWE into the mix, the controversy can gather a new crowd. In fact, it may only be a matter of time before we see Randy Orton and Kurt Angle in a tag-team match against Jason Giambi and Mark McGwire, with the winner receiving an acquittal from Judge Vince McMahon.

Heck, if they work fast, they could get the storyline hammered out before SummerSlam.

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