Fancy headlights

Okay, we admit it. We weren't originally going to write about this story. Actually, we saw it yesterday and gave it a pass, figuring that we'd already given Germany enough grief as of late. Then today, it popped up again and, well, the strongest competition for our coverage was a story about the Norwegian princess who's claiming psychic powers. And really, there's only so many jokes we can write about possible inbreeding and overall wackiness of royalty. So, we find ourselves turning back to Germany, to examine the tale of the topless motorist.

Okay. She wasn't topless. In fact, she was apparently driving along, wearing nothing but a pair of stiletto heels, a bracelet, and a smile. The woman, a tall 30-ish blonde, decided to go out for a morning drive in the town of Doemitz, Germany. Along the drive, she decided to stop at her favorite gas station, where she's "come in naked before", for some cigarettes. The owner of the shop, who "wasn't surprised", felt the need to mention that none of the other customers complained, and some even snapped pictures to send to German newspapers.

And yet, this is the same country that just last week gave us the story of a bus driver who was so disconcerted by a woman and her cleavage, that he threatened to kick her off of the bus. Was the problem possibly that she had cleavage, as opposed to baring all for the world to see? Out of necessity to come to the root of this problem, we decided to pull up a map of Germany to see if geography played a role.

And, lo and behold, Doemitz is farther north than any of the Landaus (we're still not sure which of the three was the originator of the bus tale). While our natural instincts tell us that, as you head further north, you'll encounter colder weather, we also admit that it is summer. But that still doesn't explain it. What does, in our minds at least, is that Doemitz is closer to Amsterdam and their "coffee houses". So maybe that's the answer we're looking for, right there.

We'd ask the Norwegian princess, but she keeps going on about the end of days, how stock prices will plummet, and what next season's "Heroes" finale will be like.