Monday, July 09, 2007

In need of a podiatrist

Police in Kaiserslautern, at the request of neighbors, raided an apartment recently, under the impression that they would need a mortician to remove a corpse that had been left. Instead, they were greeted with a need for a foot doctor and some industrial soap.

That's right. The aroma that caused neighbors to believe that someone had died was coming from a German man's feet, although the pile of dirty laundry nearby probably didn't help the situation.

It didn't help that mail had been left uncollected for a week, or that the apartment had been completely shuttered during that time. By the same token, if a person's feet (and laundry) cause people to wonder seriously what died, then maybe some measures should be taken to insure that a later police raid doesn't occur.

For example, the German man could decide to deck his apartment with aromatic potpourri baskets, or scented candles. He could use Febreeze everywhere to try and eliminate the odors. Or, for a truly shocking suggestion, he could try washing his feet every once in a while. We can't be positive, but we've got a sneaking suspicion that even Tinactin would turn up its nose at the prospect of tackling this guy's athlete's foot.

Let's just hope that hygiene wins the day. After all, the man obviously lives alone, as no one with a working sense of smell would be able to reside close enough to him to share an apartment. And we certainly don't want to read another report about the feet who cried corpse.

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