And go to your room without dinner

We weren't going to post anything today, in light of the bridge accident in Minneapolis. Then we started thinking, and realized that, while tragic, it's not going to stop the world from spinning, it's not going to stop the candidates from running for office far too early, and it's certainly not going to stop people from wondering if every major (and quite a few minor) accidents have a link to terrorism. It is a tragedy, and we definitely have the deepest sympathy and heartfelt prayers for those experiencing it more directly than we are.

Thankfully, one of the other things that this event won't stop is the continuation of bizarre news stories from around the world. And, well, since that's kind of our bread and butter, we're going to let the real news people handle the bridge, and we're going to talk about the person who was recently denied his allowance and locked out of the house. Why would we talk about such a thing?

Because he was 61.

That's right. A 61-year-old had his allowance and house keys taken away by his mother, because he stayed out too late one night. The Sicilian man was taken to the police station, because his mother wanted them to "convince this blockhead" that his behavior was improper.

Of course, we're wondering just what kind of behavior a 61-year-old can really engage in that might be considered improper to his mother. The first thing that pops into our heads is that he was, well, living with his mother at the age of 61. We're also betting that he beat her to the punch at telling people to get off of the lawn, and he probably cheated a few times at shuffleboard. Then there was the time where he brought home his 47-year-old fling, just to show the rest of the boys in the neighborhood that he could still get the ladies.

Thankfully, the police were able to solve the dispute between the two, and the man has had his keys and allowance reinstated. Other terms of the agreement include him agreeing not to move her cane without prior notice, and she's no longer allowed to cook brussel sprouts. Oh, and if he doesn't eat all of his vegetables, he can damn well drive himself to the local gelato stand and buy his own dessert, thankyouverymuch.