Thursday, October 25, 2007

That tattoo's a little, well...

Earlier this week, we found ourselves going off on a bit of a tangent, due to the recent announcement from JK Rowling that Dumbledore, that venerable and yet still entirely fictional character, was gay. The world shook, rainbows were celebrated, and the Christian Right had another reason to hate the book series.

Things were a bit more mundane for Paul Croft, of Nottingham, until his coworkers remembered about his tattoo. Said tattoo? The wizened face of suddenly flaming wizard Albus Dumbledore, next to a scroll bearing the names of Croft's children. Given that Croft is a factory worker, one can assume that the conversations thrown his way by his coworkers were of a kind and congenial nature, possibly ranging from highlights of the football match to what movies Croft was hoping to see.

Or, perhaps, his coworkers proceeded to make commentary alluding that Croft, like the imaginary persona tattooed on his back, might be homosexual. Yeah, that sounds more like factory workers.

Alright, let's just clear the air on this. First off, again, as people keep forgetting, Dumbledore is not a real person. He is the creation of a literary mind, and, as such, his sexual orientation should truly be a non-issue. In other words, we should view his being gay in much the same way we view Elton John's. Sure, it may be there, but it doesn't really affect us, and it's not a huge surprise anyway. And while Rowling's announcement may change the nature of some fan-fictions out there, it could also open up a door for an entirely new realm, which crude references to a wand-fight.

Secondly, getting a tattoo of a gay character, with the possible exception of Happy McGaypants, does not make the person getting said tattoo in any way homosexual. Especially if the person received the tattoo prior to the orientation being completely known. Do you call people with Doogie Howser tattoos gay because NPH has come out of the closet? No, you call them foolish for getting a tattoo from a 1980's television show.

Third, getting tattoo period of anything, again with the possible exception of Happy McGaypants, does not make ANYONE gay. You could cover your entire body with nothing but rainbows, drag queens, appletinis, and kd Lang, and none of those things will make you gay. The only thing that will is engaging in sexual practice with people of your own gender. Enough said.

So we here at the CSM give credit to Mr. Croft. Not only did you have the balls to get a tattoo of a Harry Potter character for your daughters, not only did you get it across your back, but you also are willing to stand up and keep the artwork, not caring that Dumbledore really wishes that Malfoy would call him.

Come on, people. It's not like he got himself a tramp stamp.

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