Thursday, October 11, 2007

This is the way the world ends... with a survey

A survey conducted in Great Britain to mark the release of Steven Sivell's "Clock Cuckoo Land" followed the main premise of the novel. The novel uses an impending cataclysmic event as a metaphor for what's currently happening to humanity. The survey, conducted by Ziji Publishing, asked Britons what they would do if they knew that an asteroid was coming in an hour to eradicate their lives.

Not horribly surprisingly, over half of those surveyed said that they would spend the time connecting with loved ones, either in person or over the phone. This makes perfect sense, as one of the things that humans are always searching for is the elusive concept of closure, and, with only an hour to live, people would want to try and achieve some sort of closure with those that they care about. That, and who better to spend your last hour of life with than those that you spent so many other hours with.

Some of the other results are more interesting. Only 3% would turn to prayer, with only three times as many polled saying that they would actively pursue sexual gratification. 13% would take the time to set out a lawn chair, sit down with a cocktail and some music, and watch the apocalypse as it arrives.

The most interesting group? To us here at the CSM, we find the 2% who decided that they would loot to be the most intriguing. Not only are they showing an admirable sense of faith in their own ability to survive, but they also are willing to spend the last hour of their lives going from location to location, looking for the best looting deals. After all, when most of the planet's been wiped out, the most important thing for anyone remaining is just how nice their TV is, and whether or not they're wearing the latest fall fashions.

Course, if we were asked, we would have thrown off the whole curve. With only an hour to live, we'd engage in outdoor sex, so we could watch our impending doom, all while praying on the phone to our loved ones.

This is also why we don't get asked what type of popcorn we would prefer at movie theaters.

No comments: