Tuesday, October 23, 2007

When the going gets tough...

The tough used to wander into red light districts to blow off some steam. Of course, by tough, we mean the police in Brussels, who have recently received a letter ordering them to no longer visit bars, brothels, or massage parlors while on duty. They are apparently still allowed to visit bakeries, but that's part of the package when you enter into law enforcement. After all, good coffee doesn't drink itself.

For the record, as a police spokesman has said, there is no evidence to show that any police officers were engaging in these activities while on the clock, but the letter itself has been confirmed to be real. And why not? After all, part of the purpose is to get the police in Belgium to be viewed with more respect, and, if they are being model citizens, it's a lot easier to respect them. Sure, for a while the rumors of police visiting brothels for more seizure than search may hound them for a while, but eventually, when you can't buy an officer his favorite shot as an excuse to play with his gun, public perceptions will change.

Meanwhile, someone who got some help changing their own perspective recently was a teenager at the Beijing Zoo. After having snuck into the zoo itself, he proceeded to leap into the panda cage. After all, he said it best when he said, "I'm not afraid of a panda, I know karate." Of course, he also said it pretty well when he was screaming, "Oh for the love of all that's holy, get this freaking panda off of my leg! It hurts worse than watching a Jim Belushi movie!".

Here's a tip for the kids out there. Just because you know karate, doesn't mean that you can take on a panda. Any panda you've seen in the movies has been docile, trained, and getting it's butt kicked by Bruce Lee or Jason Statham, and both of those guys are freaks of nature when it comes to getting into tough jams. As for becoming a police officer, remember that, unless you're Simon Pegg, wearing the uniform is not an excuse to get girls and beer. At least, not while you're on duty.

And finally, because we know some of you have been wondering, what ever happened to Judge McSuing-for-Millions-Over-Pants-along? Turns out, he probably won't be a judge for much longer.

But it's okay. He knows karate.

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