Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Didn't really think that one through, huh?

There are certain instances where you really shouldn't call the police, even if it seems like a good idea at the time. Naturally, the number (and seeming frequency) of those instances rises the more celebrity you gain, or the longer your personal rap sheet, but some things just should raise enough alarm bells on their own that you probably don't want the cops involved. If only Jose Guadalupe Flores had kept that in mind before he reported a theft. And while it's true that the items stolen definitely had a large value, it would have probably been best just to let bygones be bygones.

Because, after all, when you're been robbed of 150 pounds of marijuana and neglect to clean up the additional 15 pounds you've got scattered around your living room, the last thing you probably should do is report the crime.

To make matters worse, it turns out that Flores is also an illegal immigrant, meaning that, until his arraignment hearing, he'll be held in prison. It could be worse, naturally, as Flores could be finding himself quickly deported, but, given that he had already procured an illegal residence in Texas and somehow amassed hundreds of pounds of marijuana, it's a safe bet that he might try the same kind of thing again.

But that's not all. Not only did Flores admit that the drugs were his in the first place, but he then followed up that admission by mentioning that he was wrapping the pot for shipment, thereby taking an intent to distribute onto his already steep possession charge. We're fairly certain that, if Flores had talked longer, he may have started to mention how much he was able to charge per shipment, quantities of Mt. Dew consumed, and where to find the best snacks to help when the munchies set in.

We also don't know what may have happened to bags of Cheetos in the vicinity, although we rest assured that sales of Phish and Grateful Dead CDs have recently skyrocketed.

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