Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Science to the rescue!

Alright. We don't really want to make a habit of this, but the last two days have provided us with stories that we just couldn't pass up. Unfortunately, once again, our chosen target is the scientific community.

Look, before you get up in arms about all the good things that scientists have done for us, we want it to be clear that we don't dispute any of that for a moment. We greatly appreciate all of the good things that they've given us, from cleaner air to softer clothes to better tasting hamburgers. But when they discover that caffeine isn't as effective as sleep, as they did in yesterday's story, we start to wonder if maybe there aren't better things for them to research. Obviously, after today's story, they still haven't found those better things.

But judge for yourselves. After all, maybe it really is important that science has helped us discover that teenage passengers are distracting, especially to teenage drivers.

Really, there's just no way that we could have possibly seen the end result of such a study (alright, we wouldn't have been able to guess at the numbers to help prove the research, but we knew the concept in advance). Aside from having ever seen teenagers, let alone teenagers without direct adult supervision, how could one possibly postulate that, perhaps, a penchant for horseplay and/or cell-phone shenanigans could lead to a distracted young driver. Especially given that said driver would only be in his first couple of years behind the wheel, and a bit rambunctious themselves without adult supervision to reign in their actions.

We're starting to wonder if, possibly, our ideas are being taken seriously, instead of jokes as they are meant to be. If that's the case, then we might want to suggest that a study be conducted regarding how people perceive things such as sarcasm, irony, and social commentary. Thankfully, it's not like they did research to show that divorce is bad for the environment.

Oh, they did, did they?

Alright. We're going to go back to bed. Wake us up when science stops being so irrelevant.

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