Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Year End - Part One

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. The time where the Web becomes flush with lists of all sorts. Most of them are looks back at the previous calendar. A few others are looks ahead. And then there's always that group of sites that compose a list with an attempt to remain relevant, even while pushing aside their normal content.

But not us. Sure, we're bowing to the pressure of the end of December, and we'll be spending the next week or so concocting lists. But that doesn't mean that we're going to try to be relevant. For further proof, just keep reading.

Top Ten Websites We Hope To Never See
There are a lot of websites out there, with a ton of content that we never truly expected to see the light of day. There are even more sites that are copy-cats, taking a tried and true platform and trying to twist it to their own perspective. Here, we've taken some time to compile a list of sites that we hope won't ever surface. If they already exist, we're glad that we haven't found them. If they get created because of this, well, don't blame us. We're just the messengers.

10. MeTube
Sure, there are more than a few ways to share videos online, but none are quite as popular as YouTube. Still, imagine a website where all you can watch are online videos of one person. Just one individual, over and over again, naturally with that "hilarious" clip of the party where a table got broken. It would be like watching vacation videos, only without any sense of purpose.

9. We Told You So
Few things do smarmy quite as well as the Web. But will we ever reach a point where an entire website is devoted to people saying that they knew more than you? Of course, it could launch an entirely new form of bullying (previously only seen on playgrounds and FOXNews).

8. The Secret Life of Dust
Oh wow. A webcam set up to watch one area. An area that never, ever gets dusted. We could finally learn the secrets hidden within dust bunnies. And yes, we're yawning a bit at the concept, too.

7. Ant-astic!
This one could actually go hand-in-hand with TSLoD, except focusing on ants. Great for researchers too squeamish to get into the field, but, well, for the rest of us? It's freakin' ants.

6. The Wit and Wisdom of Sherri Shepherd
She doesn't know if the world is flat, what "B.C." means, or why she shouldn't hit her children in public. She's a co-host on The View. And there could be an entire web page devoted to her wisdom. It would look a lot like the blue screen of death, but more annoying and vapid.

5. Digest-o-Cam
We're not sure if this would be a camera from inside of a stomach, or just footage of the end result. Either way, we want to see this even less than we want to see a Carrot Top career revival.

4. Spell-checking the Web
Actually, this one isn't a half-bad idea, but we'd be afraid of landing there ourselves. The concept? A group of people with nothing better to do search through websites for misspellings, and then post corrected versions of the sites on their page. They would never run out of potential content.

3. "How to..." by OJ Simpson
Think of all the things you could learn. Better yet, don't think about all the things you could learn from O.J. and focus instead on finishing that grocery list. It's a better usage of time.

2. Sumo Wrestlers Jumping on Trampolines
Certain people shouldn't ever be on a trampoline. And, if they ever are, there shouldn't be video proof of these events. An entire website devoted to actual sumo wrestlers on trampolines would just be frightening. Not because of the wrestlers... we fear for the trampolines.

1. Dick Cheney's LOL Cats
Alright. We admit that this one is partially listed here because we're a little tired of seeing pictures of cats (or other animals) with horrible captions. We also admit that a couple of them are amusing. But would anyone really want to see an kitten inside of a stomach, complete with the caption, "Gastric juices? Do not want!" or "Invisible heart"? We don't think so.

Come back tomorrow, to see what other lists we can create, as we continue to succumb to Yearendlistitis.

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