Monday, February 25, 2008

Don't stop believing

How many of us remember 1992? Specifically, how many of us remember the presidential campaigns of '92, pitting the senior Bush against the male Clinton? Does anyone remember a certain write-in candidate? No? How about in '96, when said write-in candidate had an actual campaign, running against Pres. Clinton and Bob Dole? Hmm... maybe 2000, where, by many accounts, this man's candidacy cost Gore the election to GDub (honestly, if it comes down to being that close, Gore probably wasn't the best face to present anyway)?

Ah yes, now the face is becoming clearer. When we then recall that he launched another bid in '04, supposedly helping vault GDub to victory over Kerry (although, what we said about Gore holds doubly true for Kerry), we can't help but shake the grave image of Ralph Nader out of our collective brain pans.

And, just in time for another presidential election, guess who's coming to the party? That's right. Just in case you missed it, Nader has once again decided that he's going to run for the presidency. Needless to say, the Democrats are less thrilled than the GOP by this move, since they stand to lose the most voters to Nader and his campaign.

But we're going to step aside for a moment here. And Ralph? Come right over here. We need to have a little chat with you.

Okay. Look, Ralph, nobody denies that you've been able to do some very good things in the realm of safety. Nobody can argue that you've had an impact that has lasted longer than many politicians. But isn't it time that you settled down, picked up your toys, and played in your own field? In your earlier campaigns, the country was at least hungry for a third party that was viable. Now, you really just look like someone who's gotten hungrier for attention than Tom Cruise, without the crazy.

So please, Ralph. Think about things. You're right when you say, "If the Democrats can't landslide the Republicans this year, they ought to just wrap up," but you aren't helping. For goodness sakes, Ralph, people in Minnesota voted for a professional wrestler. We don't need any more confusion.

Besides, you have a better chance of getting elected president of the PTA than the USA. And even they're a little unsure of your motives.

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