Thursday, March 13, 2008

I fought the law

Long-time regular readers will remember the trial of the pants. After all, the story was good enough, and it popped up frequently enough, that we got to make it something of a running joke here for awhile. While we're certain that we still haven't found a story to quite take the place of the multimillion dollar pants, we're thinking that the $600,000 grape is definitely worthwhile.

And yes, you read that correctly. A lone grape, skin and all, squished into the shoes of a lawyer, and worth $600,000 (give or take). But, before that lawyer came along, the grape was practically worthless, especially given its later value. How did it rise to such inflated heights?

It caused the lawyer to slip, injure himself, and sue Marks & Spencer. After all, the grape had been theirs to begin with. The high price tag came specifically due to the lawyer tearing a quadricep and suffering "adverse psychological effects", damaging not only his business, but his tennis game.

Wait. "Adverse psychological effects"? Did the lawyer suddenly start freaking out at every Fruit of the Loom commercial with the guy in the grape suit? Did he sob uncontrollably at a grape stomp? Was he unable to watch reruns of "Grape Ape"? Or did he start collecting grapes, merely to skin them in some sort of a diabolical, and yet entirely bizarre, revenge scheme?

With reactions like that, it's no wonder that the lawyer couldn't keep his practice running at the same high levels. And, really, it's no wonder that he lost the case, and had to pay the nearly $40,000 court fees.

Let's hope for better luck for the student suing his teacher for waking him up. At least there are no grapes involved.

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