Monday, June 09, 2008

First, they came for the Cheetos...

In Toronto, it's about to become a lot more difficult to find things that are not meant for children's eyes. Instead of their typical placement, these items are going to be kept behind the counter, in drawers or behind grey wall coverings, so as to keep the young and impressionable Canadian children from looking at their shameful presence. Of course, by reading this, you just know that we're not talking about porno magazines. Those get to stay right in plain view.

We're talking about cigarettes.

On one hand, this makes a lot of sense, even in the face of the magazines keeping their place of honor. After all, seeing bared breasts probably isn't going to eventually lead to a horrible death for the kids, and starting smoking almost undoubtedly will. Besides, it's been postulated before that part of the reason why American culture is so repressive and poorly-informed about sexual themes is because we do so much to hide it. Of course, hiding cigarettes may lead to less education and an even higher "taboo" factor (and how many teenagers want to do something just because it's considered bad by their elders... maybe we should start defaming calculus and literacy). But removing them from the public eye could slowly instill a culture of non-smoking into Canada, and, if it works there, it seems like it could only be a matter of time before it spreads to America.

Heck, this whole movement could be just like hockey. After a few years of success, we could just relocate this entire plan to somewhere in the south (we're thinking New Orleans) and claim it as our own.

In the meantime, here in the US of A, we're going to keep our liquor, porn, and cigarettes right where they belong. Within easy reach of a 10-year-old.

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