Tuesday, July 08, 2008

One lump, or two?

There are many ways to look at today's title for inspiration. Of course, if you reference the old Warner Brothers cartoons, there are two specific ways, which combine for comedic value. We're going to take our inspiration from that example, and that's why we've got two stories on our docket.

First up, we admit that being robbed is a scary thing. However, a Japanese woman was able to keep her head about her, after a man attempted to rob her at knife-point. Instead of giving in to his demands, she invited him inside for some tea.

That's right, folks. When he asked for all of her money, she instead offered a tasty darjeeling. Or maybe a calming green tea, to help clear his mind. Or maybe even a bit of English breakfast, to get him going. Whichever tea she offered, it was clear. This was a woman not to be trifled with. She knew exactly how to take a knife pointed at her and turn it into an opportunity for conversation.

A twenty minute long conversation, to be precise. The woman talked with her attempted robber about life over the tea, and, at the end of the conversation, she handed him 10,000 yen before attempting to call the police. While the robber can't be found, it is assumed that he is wandering Tokyo with a sense of enlightenment. It's also possible that he really needs to use the restroom, and that he may have bad teeth and say things such as "cheerio" and "guvnah".

Meanwhile, in the other version of lumps, a couple of teens in New York recently learned to be careful who they make fun of. After having filmed a YouTube video where they mocked the city of Oniontown as being poor, rundown, and a "backwoods dump", the residents responded as any self-respecting poor town would. They launched stones at their detractors. When asked why they used stones, the residents responded by saying, "Well, sticks is just too expensive."

We're kidding, of course. It's entirely possible that the residents of Oniontown didn't use sticks because they needed them to stoke their fires.

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