Friday, August 01, 2008

(Mini) Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of July 28, 2008

Happy Friday! We've got a condensed version of our awards today, because, well, we're on a condensed amount of time. But hey, we didn't want to leave you hanging without a little something for the weekend, so let's roll!

No Comment Award
We have to give this to the McGranddaddy. Recently, at a campaign stop in Wisconsin, he was asked an "important question". No, not whether Wisconsin cheese is better than other cheeses. He was asked about Brett Favre, a question which he smartly avoided answering fully. Heck, we half expected him to say that he expects Favre to play 100 more years.

Drip Drip Drip Award
The Mars probe that NASA sent up awhile back has made a fantastic discovery. After breaking through some of the planet's permafrost, they've discovered actual Martian ice. Naturally, this comes as little shock to anyone who's been regularly enjoying their whiskey on the Martian rocks, or anyone who thought that people looked a little too comfortable in Total Recall. We expect that, before long, Evian will corner that market, as well.

A Suggestion Award
We all know how Wal-Mart feels about unions. Given that there's at least a perception that an Obama presidency would make it easier for unions to form, it shouldn't surprise anyone that Wal-Mart is not necessarily in favor. But when they warn employees from voting for him? It's a good thing that the Dems have all those people born in the 1800s to count on.

Proofing the Proofers Award
It seems like just last week that a former astronaut came out of the woodwork to say that NASA had been keeping the existence of aliens a secret. So, naturally, this week, his theory has detractors. Those detractors? UFO researchers, who say that there's no proof to his claims. Um, if there's no proof, then what exactly are they researching?

We Don't Need No Water Award
What do you do when your fish tank catches on fire? No, seriously, what do you possibly do? Our suggestion? Get some butter melting, and slice up a lemon. Mmmm... angelfish.

And that does if for this week. We'll be back next week, when the craziness calms down. Stay safe out there!

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