Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Turn left at the nipple

Here we sit, Election Day in America, and we're going to be able to extricate ourselves from the endless speculation, exit poll tallying, and bickering over what's going on in our country. Why are we able to do that? Because, thanks to news from across the pond, we've found something more appealing than trying to handicap something that won't be determined for another 7 hours, at least.

But just what is it that we've found more appealing? Simple. It's lingerie fitted with a GPS system.

Now, in spite of today's title, it won't help those guys who are clueless in bed. And, in spite of what (according to the article) feminists the world over are saying, it won't work as a long-distance modern-day chastity belt. What it is meant to do, however, is to be like a distance game of hide-and-seek, where the woman wearing the tracking lingerie would be able to head to a steamy location, with the hopes that her partner of choice uses his TomTom to find her. Oh, and if she ever decides that she wants to get away for some quiet alone time, the owner of the lingerie has the ability to turn off the device.

In many ways, this is the next logical step in today's increasingly high-tech world. And yet, we have to wonder where some of the quiet simplicity has gone. Sure, it could be fun to track your girlfriend down using a GPS device. And sure, it could be amusing to see how long it takes for your lover to find just which seedy motel or secluded park you've chosen for a little late night rendezvous. But there's something to be said for finding those locations together, and not needing any sort of mechanical assistance.

Besides, as we all know, there's no place in a romantic relationship for tools. Well, not without being open-minded.

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