Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of February 16, 2009

What a week it's been. Why, it feels like we've only been bringing you stories for four days this week... that may have something to do with us taking Monday to be lazy. It may not, we can't be completely sure. But we've got plenty of awards to toss out this week, so let's get going.

Untruth Award
So remember that story about the Chinese businessman who was holding a contest amongst his mistresses? Yeah, the story may not have as much truth to it as was originally believed. Turns out the author plagiarized the story from somewhere else, and nobody really knows if it ever actually happened. The writer has lost his job, and is now looking to move to Hollywood to start writing a remake of any 80s movie that hasn't been destroyed yet.

You Can't Catch Me Award
Every few days, a new high-speed chase story is found floating around the Web, and many of them revolve around people going the wrong direction on freeways, or having had too much to drink, or simply getting into the chase with a car that shouldn't be pushed to those speeds. This may be the first time that the chase has ended when the suspect wanted their car parked. In her defense, though, sometimes it can be absolutely miserable to get a good parking spot at the airport, and valets know all the tricks.

Kinda Sorry Award
If you've missed the uproar over a certain New York Post editorial cartoon, consider yourself lucky, or out of the news loop. Either way, it seems that the Post has issued an apology. Just so long as you weren't one of those "people who have long-standing differences". Yeah, no apology for you. Even a monkey wouldn't make that mistak---- oops.

Homecoming Drag Queen Award
We've got to give congratulations to George Mason University and their new homecoming queen. Naturally, his selection has lead to a bit of a campus divide, saying it's inopportune timing for a school trying to no longer be seen as a commuter school. Because national attention for a progressive choice can never lead to positive results.

Awkward Award
So, you may not be aware of this, but addressing someone by their disability is considered fairly rude. Alright, you probably knew that, but a company sending out notice of modifications being done to a home didn't seem to get that, as they addressed a letter going to a "Mr. Blindman". Even worse, they didn't bother to write it in Braille.

Seemed Like a Good Idea Award
There are some ideas that just struck people in the moment, and, before too long, are proven to be ill conceived. One of those ideas would have to be engaging in a foursome with people you just met out at the bar. Another would be picking a fight with the other guy in the group because your girlfriend seemed to be enjoying the encounter. The fighters have also been seen beating up vibrators, cucumbers, and shower heads in recent days.

Well, with that lovely imagery, we're going to close out for the week. We'll see you back next week. Stay safe out there!