A transparent plan

Finally, someone in Washington, D.C. is getting around to handling one of the big problems facing the community. Specifically, they're looking at a problem in the schools, possibly with the notion of being able to get the positive effects to ripple out of the education system. So what is this concern they're looking at? Literacy rates? Poor math skills? Low test scores?

A dress code?

Yes, that's right, folks. The District of Columbia is about to get tougher on students when it comes to how they dress. Sure, a set uniform can sometimes lead to better results in academia, but there's no guarantee by a long shot. It's more of a cover-up for other problems, than anything serious.

Wait. This dress code is being instilled to stop students from wearing spiked and/or see-through clothing? Are these kids all professional wrestlers in training? That might explain why students aren't doing as well as they should. After all, it's hard to read Hemingway when the girl two rows over is wearing a see-through top, and her boyfriend has a spiked collar.

Actually, it's just hard to read Hemingway, no matter the situation.