Friday, May 29, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of May 25, 2009

It's been a short week here at the CSM. Of course, it's been a short week in many places, what with the Memorial Day holiday. Thankfully, the news has kept us going all week long. So let's get these Memorial Week Awards rolling.

Pepperoni and Pistol Pizza Award
When you're a former mob hit man running a pizza joint, and you have to close your doors, what can you blame it on? Is it the fault of the current economy? Might it have something to with reports that you may have pistol-whipped customers that complained? Nope, it's the media coverage that's scaring people away. Well, you know, that and the large sausage and concussion meal.

Ikea, Ukea, We All Kea Award
Ikea, purveyor of fine "put-it-together-yourself-so-you-can-save-cash" furniture, has a complaint. That complaint is with a website that may be stepping on their toes. But why? Well, aside from the moniker "I love Ikea" in the site name, it is being used to sell strictly used Ikea furniture. The furniture giant is taking the site to court, claiming brand infringement. At the very least, the other site should have given little mustaches to the guys pictured in the Ikea assembly instructions.

Giving the Baby Air Award
We all know the stereotype about dogs on car rides. Sure, they love sticking their head out the window, because they love the wind rush past them. Apparently, a Florida man thought that babies were much the same, and was arrested because of it. Oh, and it should come as no surprise, but drugs were involved. Thankfully, the man got a ticket for not restraining the child. To be fair, he needed the kid free just in case he dropped his joint.

When Not to Brag Award
This has been said before, and by more than just us. If you've committed a crime, don't brag about it. A Virginia man was recently arrested for robbing a bank after he bragged about it on his MySpace page. Wait, people still use MySpace?

Wikibanned Award
Hot on the heels of the news that France is taking the Church of Scientology to court, we now see that Wikipedia has banned all IP addresses associated with the organization from posting on their sites. Yeah, not a whole lot more than that to the article. Oh, other than the flagrant usage of the phrase "wiki-" as a prefix to more words than we previously thought imaginable.

High-Face Award
A Texas school superintendent is in hot water after he tapped a principal on the head. Seems he was giving high-fives to other principals over results from their school testing, and the principal in question didn't raise their hand. She has now filed a police complaint over the "assault", that, it should be noted, could have been avoided if she'd given a high-five back. Listen, lady, there's a reason that "pal" is in the name of your job. Not that we're condoning the head tap... we just like high-fives.

Watch Where You Sit Award
How would you feel if you took your AP exams, and found out that they may be invalid because you sat at the end of the table, instead of on the side? That may happen for students in Oklahoma City. School officials think that the tests should still be valid, but what do they know? They allowed people to sit at the end of the table.

Well, that wraps up our awards for yet another week. We'll be back next week, with a whole pile of news. That is, of course, unless the world happens to get incredibly boring over the next few days. Stay safe out there.

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