Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Gotta have options

And, boy howdy, do we ever have options. Three different stories all jumped out at us, and we're just unable to pick just one to go with. So we'll be sharing them all, because that's just what kind of caring and giving bloggers we are.

In the first story, we see proof as to why you should avoid karaoke bars. Or why you shouldn't spank someone while they're warbling out their favorite Patsy Kline song. It's because of the brawls, folks.

But wait, don't brawls happen in bars all of the time? Judging from television scripts, we'd have to say, "Yes", but that's still no reason not to make a special effort to get away from any location that encourages people to get drunk enough to try and sing their way through Pearl Jam. We just wonder if the woman performing the karaoke was trying to sing "Hit Me Baby, One More Time".

Our second story shows that you can never be too safe, especially when selling teaspoons to people. That's why a Yorkshire store insisted on proof of age before letting a woman buy her spoons. After all, spoons can be dangerous, especially in the hands of a trained spoon-ninja. Those guys are deadly, and they eat their ice cream faster than you can imagine. Honestly, though, we'd be checking ages on people buying sporks long before we did the same for the simple spoon.

For our final story, well, we just had to include it because we think it's absolutely ridiculous. And no, not ridiculous in the "we can't believe nobody thought of this before" way, either. After all, can you think of anyone who needs high-heeled flippers? Expect this footwear to eventually find it's way to fame-whoring celebrities, who just want to jump onto the latest crazy fad.

And yes, if you combine all three stories, you get something from the diary of Courtney Love. Weird how these things work out.

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