Friday, July 10, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of July 6, 2009

Welcome to another round of the awards. Let's just dive in right away.

No Superman Award
Quick, everyone. Blow things out of proportion. The President basically was caught doing what many other men would do in a similar situation. After all, everyone checks to make sure the quarter they see on the floor isn't glued there.

Look at Me!! Award
Wasn't it nice to have a little time away from dealing with stories about the Octomom? Well, get ready, because apparently she wasn't done taking up more than her fair share of fame. According to her, her home is haunted. But she also claims that ghosts don't exist. So what's haunting the home? It must be the spirit of long-dead self-respect.

Drink Up Award
When you get your bottled water, you expect it to be fairly safe, with restrictions as to what is allowed to get through the filters, right? Well, what if tap water was actually more restricted? This doesn't necessarily mean that the tap water is cleaner, but it still holds true that the tap water is cheaper, and less likely to impress yuppies.

Pot? Meet Kettle Award
How seriously should you take the comments of someone who's only been given a pulpit because they happened to impregnate an underage girl? What about if that girl was the daughter of a potential vice president? Well, apparently Levi Johnston is claiming that the reason Sarah Palin has stepped down from the governorship of Alaska is to cash in on her fame. Meanwhile, he's writing a book of his own. We expect that, in a few months, Johnston may be claiming that his house is haunted by a ghost child...

Where's My Stapler? Award
What do you do when you find out that you might be getting fired? Many people would buckle down and work harder. Others would not give their boss the satisfaction, and quit instead. An Edinburgh man decided to follow the Milton Waddams school of job security, as he burned the building down. Looks like he fixed the glitch.

And that does it for this week's awards. We'll be back next week. Stay safe out there.

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