Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Running late

Today, we just couldn't pick. Seems to happen every once in awhile, and, when it does, we just hope for some sort of thematic connection between the stories, so that we can link them together somehow. Today, there's a connection, although it is admittedly very tenuous. It's all about time.

First up, we see a cop who just can't wait for his Egg McMuffin. So, in an attempt to speed up the process, he rationally explains that he needs to get going, right? Or, you know, he pulls his gun. It's definitely one of those two things.

Listen, we know that sometimes, you just need the flaky muffin filled with pseudo egg and sausage, along with a slice of processed cheese, but pulling a gun is just no way to go about it. Besides, it's not like such actions will generally make the employees move faster, or bend time. Come on, people. The microwave only cooks so fast.

Oh, um, the, uh, grill only cooks so fast.

Today's second story allows us to see an interesting defense used in a case where a trolley driver was fired after getting into an accident. Apparently, the accident may have been caused by the driver being busy texting on his cell phone, instead of paying attention to his path. But the man's defense attorney feels that the man may be getting charged with the wrong offense.

After all, the charges against him are based on laws that are, like, over 100 years old.

Right. Because there's an expiration date on laws. Sure, some may get stricken from the books when they no longer make sense, but a law about negligence while in control of a train should probably remain until there is nothing resembling a train in existence. Thankfully, the prosecution had a response at their fingertips, pointing out how long laws against murder have been on the books.

Sometimes, the classics are just good to keep around.

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