Friday, November 06, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of November 2, 2009

Hello, everyone. Things have been quiet here on the CSM, for a couple of reasons. We've been busier with non-CSM things, and we're contemplating maybe taking the blog in a new direction. But, well, in the meantime, we'll at least try to commit to getting something up every once in awhile. Like today, where we come back with a bevy of awards. Let's dive in.

Clothes for Hide and Seek Award
This should come as a shock to nobody, but some people outside of the military wear camouflage clothes. This group of people can include children, which apparently makes some parents uneasy. However, people shouldn't worry about camo-wearing kids, unless they also start applying face paint to help them blend in better. In which case, be ready to get jumped by a roving gang of 5-year-olds.

Playing in Traffic Award
Speaking of children, sometimes they play in areas that are hazardous to them. We like to call most of those areas "playgrounds", but we digress. The worst place for kids to play? In the middle of the street, while their drunk father sleeps. But don't worry, after the kids were found the first time, child protection services were called. Sure, the dad fell asleep and the kids wandered away before CPS got there, but it's the thought that counts. Right?

Bad Idea/Bad Idea Award
We know we've gone over this before, people. If someone steals your marijuana, don't call the police. And definitely don't make it worse by then driving drunk, trying to find the culprit. Next time, seriously, only call if your munchies are stolen, and then stay home.

Dress for Success Award
We don't really know how to dress when planning on committing a crime. We would assume that choosing something non-descript would be a good plan, possibly opting for dark colors. We might also advocate in favor of something to conceal or distort the face. We definitely would not suggest a High School Musical blanket. You know, not unless you want to have to explain to your cellmate all about Zac Efron.

Way Ahead of You Award
Thank goodness the Parents Television Council exists. If it wasn't for them urging people not to watch an upcoming episode of "Gossip Girl" on the CW, something tragic might have happened. For example, people might have realized that the CW television network still exists.

Bottoms Up Award
How often do people really look at online advertising? Probably more than you'd imagine. After all, just about every one of us could probably recreate with little prompting the crazy dancing silhouettes selling car insurance. So that could be why some advertisers decide to get a little risque with their promotions. Some people, however, feel that the ads are akin to soft core porn. Listen, if people wanted to find porn of any kind on the internet, they certainly won't click on someone's advertisement... at least, not as a first resort.

Just Gimme a Kiss Award
As it turns out, kissing may only have roots in some sort of base stimulation, at least for women. Apparently, kissing can help a woman actually improve her immune system. With the recent H1N1 outbreak, it seems like now would be a perfect time to test that theory.

Well, that wraps up our awards for this week. Thanks for stopping by, and we'll see you when we see you. Stay safe out there.