Take that, all of you creatures out there that don't have opposable thumbs. You can't grip things the same way that we humans can, and we're finally taking a stand. Sure, for centuries we've been able to do things that you can't, like hold onto bottles and give a definite sign showing our pleasure our displeasure (used to great effect in movie reviewing), but we've always had a bit of a monkey on our backs about the whole thing. So we've finally decided that enough is enough, and we've made our stand in a small Alabama town.
Oh yeah, animals. Take that. We've kicked one of your own out of the post office! In your face, which you could wipe off with a tissue if only your thumbs worked like ours.
Sure, it may seem like a token gesture to boot a cat out of the post office, but this is a significant in opposable vs. non-opposable history. Sure, there are some softies in the human contingent that are trying to step around the decrees set down by a right-thinking individual by getting the cat a PO box, but come on, people. It doesn't pay taxes. It shouldn't be allowed to traipse wherever it chooses, because, in some of those places, it might just decide to give itself a bath. And not with soap, because that requires a fully functional thumb.
Oh, this is a beautiful moment for humanity. Sure, plenty of people may think that it's a crazy (and empty) gesture made by someone who might need a little stress ball, but we think it's a great step forward.
Next on our list are those with prehensile tails. Seriously, what good is grabbing things with something that's behind you? Sheesh.
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