Tuesday, March 31, 2009

On the job

It's always good to be careful when you're at work. Whether you're a teacher, a factory worker, or a barista, there's always the chance that an accident. This goes double if you're working and you have someone coming along with you to find out what a typical day in your chosen field is like.

This is even more important when you're a police officer, and the person tagging along is a journalism student. And you make racist comments.

That's exactly what happened in Philadelphia, where a young cop talked made the racist commentary, but later on made it clear that he "wasn't racist". After all, having friends of the same race as the people who you've just decided to bash on clearly marks you as a friend to all people. Why, we're fairly certain that even Hitler said he had some friends who were Jewish.

In all seriousness, though, the community is right to be concerned about this particular police officer, and the journalism student did their job by writing the article in a fair way. True, people are looking at the story with a bit of a bias, because it was "student journalism", but any hint of truth behind the story should be looked at severely. After all, the police generally have a tough time getting people onto their side. Commentary made to any person during a ride-along can easily be taken and spread along. When the person riding along is trying to be part of the media, it's almost a guarantee that the story is going to spread.

This is why we don't get taken anywhere, either.

Monday, March 30, 2009

A transparent plan

Finally, someone in Washington, D.C. is getting around to handling one of the big problems facing the community. Specifically, they're looking at a problem in the schools, possibly with the notion of being able to get the positive effects to ripple out of the education system. So what is this concern they're looking at? Literacy rates? Poor math skills? Low test scores?

A dress code?

Yes, that's right, folks. The District of Columbia is about to get tougher on students when it comes to how they dress. Sure, a set uniform can sometimes lead to better results in academia, but there's no guarantee by a long shot. It's more of a cover-up for other problems, than anything serious.

Wait. This dress code is being instilled to stop students from wearing spiked and/or see-through clothing? Are these kids all professional wrestlers in training? That might explain why students aren't doing as well as they should. After all, it's hard to read Hemingway when the girl two rows over is wearing a see-through top, and her boyfriend has a spiked collar.

Actually, it's just hard to read Hemingway, no matter the situation.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of March 23, 2009

Here we are, at the end of yet another week. We want to send our thoughts and well-wishes to everyone around the Red River, as they deal with water rising to previously unheard of levels. Much luck to you all up there, throughout this ordeal. And now, on to our awards.

No Vampires Award
You know you may be attending the wrong school when the administration announces that there are no vampires on campus. Not that we'd rest easy at that. After all, vampires are very similar to ninjas, and we all know the likelihood of someone actung a ninja and admitting to it.

Gotta Go Award
We've all heard of strange steps that people are made to take before they can get permission to marry. This is the first time that we've heard about fathers of brides to be asking to see an indoor toilet before giving a blessing. Apparently defecating on the ground just isn't as sexy as it used to be.

Cover Your Bases Award
We've gone over this before, people. If you do something wrong, and try to pin the blame on your involvement with a certain group, make sure you're actually involved in that group. This goes double when you kidnap someone and leave them in the middle of nowhere. That's why so many people have stopped claiming that they are 7-11 employees.

Double Jeopardy Award
What should you do when you're a suspect in the burning of another person? If you're answer is "make sure to not threaten anyone else with lighting them on fire", then you've chosen more wisely than a Massachusetts woman. What's next? Is Mike Tyson going to announce that he might punch someone?

A-(wo)-men Award
Sometimes, things happen in architecture that you just can't predict. A great example of that would be on a cathedral in San Francisco, where a shadow cast by the building resembles a woman's bare breast. And people keep saying that there's no reason to go to churches anymore.

Learn by Watching, then Doing Award
Most of us watch a little television every now and then. Most of us also don't take lessons from television shows, unless those shows are intentionally educational. For the record, "COPS" is not one of those shows. Someone should have told a Florida woman that before she tried a trick that she'd learned watching the show, and was subsequently arrested for shoplifting. Looks like the trick worked, and she would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those lousy employees keeping an eye on her.

Well, that wraps up our awards for another week. We'll see you next week, hopefully with good news from the Red River area. Stay safe out there.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Rose-colored glasses

Mansfield, UK, has grown tired of teenagers gathering and loitering in underpasses, so they've come up with a way to deal with the problem. And no, it's not the liberal use of jets of water, or even something like hooking up some sort of electromagnetic fencing in the area that would give the teens a jolt. Instead, they've decided to cast a new light on the problem.

Specifically, the light that they're casting will showcase the teens acne more.

That's right. To deter these kids from going to the underpass to drink and possibly disturb the public, Mansfield has taken to using lights normally used by dermatologists in places that the teens gather. The town is also using devices that emit sounds only teens can hear to try and drive them away. Apparently, the combination is working so well that they're planning on adding more in other locations.

This type of passive attack on the teens, making it uncomfortable for them to congregate, is a great example of thinking outside of the box, but the odds of such devices being used in America seem fairly slim. After all, that's what we have crotchety old folks with lawns for.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

So tired

We understand late nights. After all, we were in college once, and we had more than our fair share of all-night parties, study sessions, and the like. Heck, we even had time where we just sat awake because we really wanted to see the dawn. And, after a long night like that, your judgement is understandably a little cloudy, especially if you're awoken out of a deep sleep.

But we've never gone back to sleep because someone said that the police were looking for someone. At least, not when that person is in our home.

That's just what happened to a Madison girl, except her situation quickly got worse when she woke up after a more normal amount of sleep. Turns out, the man who woke her up wasn't the police. He was a burglar, and made off with some of her possessions.

Listen, like we said before, we understand that bleary time of day where nothing really makes sense. We call it morning. But we have to think that, if we saw someone we didn't recognize in our apartment, no matter what they told us, we'd probably stay awake until the person left. On the plus side, the only thing that the girl experienced was some theft, and nothing worse happened.

It should be noted, though, that the robber suggested that she keep her door locked. Good advice, just given a little late.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Tough choice to make today. Let's see, a story about the octomom? Or keeping it within the state, this time around? Octomom? Minnesota? Octo-sota? Minne-mom? See, this is why we try not to make decisions... it just leads to confusion.

Well, in all honesty, while the story of the mother of 14 getting rid of free nursing seems completely valid and up our usual alley, we're actually going to keep it at home for once. Partially because we just don't get the appeal.

The rest of the reason is because there's talk in the legislature about creating a "Lake Wobegon County".

Alright, we can totally see the arguments for. Combining the counties would make governing the area easier. It could be a money saver. At the very least, it would allow people in St. Cloud to just know what county they live in without doing some sort of archaic algebra. But it's the name. Minnesota has already been mocked nationwide for electing a professional wrestler, and now we're getting grief for the long recount battle between a career politician and a career comedian. The last thing that the state should do is encourage the creation of something else that's spawned out of pop culture.

A saving grace to the concept is that the residents of the new county would be the ones with final say on the new name. Perhaps something truly wacky, like combining the names of the current counties, could be reached.

If not, let's just start a push now for Coen County. After all, they make movies here.

Monday, March 23, 2009


We certainly don't condone setting up an extramarital affair, but we do feel that there's a need to pass along a helpful tip for those that are going to do so anyway. That helpful tip? Use discretion when setting it up.

Namely, don't do anything while your wife is asleep in the same room.

Admittedly, when we first saw the headline, we winced and we started to feel some sympathy for the guy involved. Then we read the story, found out what had happened and why she had taken the steps that she did, and suddenly it all made sense. Heck, we're surprised that the guy really got off fairly lightly for that. Sure, we all know how hard it can be to stay awake during some of Tom Cruise's recent movies, but when one person has fallen asleep, it might not be a bad idea to switch the movie to something else. Not the best time to try and control things with the remote control in your pants.

Honestly, people, that exact scenario is a bad idea in college when you're just hanging out with people and you don't have a long-term commitment (well, not past the end of the semester, anyway). Therefore, doing that when you're married, and your wife is asleep mere feet from you? Yeah, you pretty much deserve whatever is coming your way.

And, for the record, no, arguing that you wouldn't have cared if you and your wife had been in opposite positions won't win you any arguments.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of March 16, 2009

Welcome to Friday, and the beginning of spring. Naturally, earlier in the week we were bombarded with green apparel everywhere we went, which is a nice precursor to the green that we'll start seeing on lawns and trees. With nature coming back to life, we almost thought that there would be a shortage of stories. Thank goodness for human nature. So let's get rolling.

Corporate Shame Award
People are understandably upset at some of the big banks, especially those that received bailout money from the government. It's gotten so bad that one of them is encouraging employees to not wear anything with the corporate logo on it. Next week, they'll be rolling out phase two of their plan, which is to put their corporate logo onto convicted felons. Or have they already started doing that?

Tight Quarters Award
How do you pass the time in Denver, Colorado? One man decided that he would waste away the day by getting himself into the vents above a pizza place. He got stuck, called for help, and was eventually cut loose, only to fall naked onto the floor. The man claimed to have beaten up on the roof before falling through the vent, but that just sounds so cheesy. Here's hoping he has a fairly thick skin.

Asking for It Award
So often, when a person is shot and killed by the police, the relatives come forward demanding damages. Not so in the case of a man shot in Canada, as his aunts have stepped up and admitted that he "led a terrible life" and might just have deserved it. No word on whether they believe that simply due to a dislike of hockey and curling.

A Cut Above Award
A woman who was arrested for cutting designs and her name into a lover's arm was given no jail time, due to the amounts of alcohol and drugs both parties took. If only there was some place to put her that would keep her off of those controlled substances.

Point Proven Award
What do you do when you're a state senator and you receive a poorly written letter asking why you're advocating slashing the education budget? If you said, "criticize their grammar, spelling, and overall education", you might be from Arizona. On the upside, the senator has made amends with the student. On the downside, well, education is still getting slashed, which will only increase the frequency of these types of letters.

Devil in the Details Award
A Washington state woman has come up with an interesting defense as to why she stole over $73,000 from a local church; she blames Satan. The church is now waiting to see how that goes for her, in an effort to increase their own fundraising.

That does it for our awards this week. We'll be back next week, with warmer temperatures and (probably) less blasphemy. Stay safe out there.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The economy hits home

You know, in these bleak economic times, it's always good to see stories that really point out the impact that people are feeling. Of course, instead, we keep getting stories about people who make (or made) more money in a year than most of us see in a lifetime, but that's besides the point. We can definitely get something out of people needing to curtail things like private drivers, cleaning services, and the like just to make ends meet. What we get out of it may be anger at the extremely wealthy, and pity for the cut services, but we're still getting something.

Which leads us to today's article. It's hard to see an upside to any obvious money grab that goes on (unless it's part of a game show, in which case we slavishly watch and shout at the television screen). But when you decide that your divorce settlement of $43 million just isn't enough, we have to cry foul.

A lot of her argument hinges around her weekly living expenses that float somewhere in the $50,000 range. That's right, she has expenses every week that total more than a lot of people see in their yearly salary. And what did she do for that money? Well, she was attractive, unemployed, and married to a CEO worth over a quarter of a billion dollars. You do the math. And wear a helmet, because doing that kind of math could cause serious injury.

The sheer audacity of the situation strikes us as odd. Not only is fighting the post-nuptial agreement that she signed, but she's doing it at a time where the world is struggling to pull themselves out of a recession. While there's a definite impact on a consumer economy when one person can no longer spend that kind of money every week, there's also an impact from all of the people angry that someone who did nothing to get their money is trying to fight for more, while plenty of others are dealing with unemployment.

But still, wow. That's an awful lot of cappuccino.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Covering your bases

There's something to be said for going above and beyond, just to ensure that you really have everything covered. Of course, it's not often a good idea to make a point of calling the media to help cover just how thorough you're being in your line of work, but sometimes, it just seems like a wise choice.

Take, for example, police planning a large raid against a house that they believe holds a burglary suspect. Sure, contacting the media and inviting them along seems great, if for no other reason than to be able to show that the police are making steps to get this criminal off of the streets. Sure, there's the risk that the suspect may not be at the location, and your big raid and media coverage could all go for nothing, but that's a chance to take.

Although you should probably find out if the guy you're trying to catch in the raid has already been arrested.

Actually, while this seems like a completely ridiculous series of events, it's actually fairly reasonable. Given that the suspect had been arrested mere hours earlier, and the paperwork may not have cleared through the system yet, the police were simply following through on the latest information they had. Sure, the media was a bit extreme, but they wanted to make a good show of things.

We'd suggest raiding the house again tomorrow, though. You never know if this crook might have found some sort of temporal warp.

Monday, March 16, 2009

A sorry law

It may strike you as a bit odd, but apparently, in more than a few states, it just isn't legal for a doctor to say, "I'm sorry". Well, okay, maybe that's oversimplifying things. In more than a few states, it's apparently possible for a doctor to apologize, but they might have those statements used against them later during a potential malpractice suit.

Well, Pennsylvania is considering a law giving doctors the ability to apologize without the crippling fear of a huge lawsuit coming against them. In many ways, this makes sense. After all, there are times where, no matter what the doctor does, there just isn't anything that can be done for the patient. The words "I'm sorry" would be completely applicable in this instance. As would situations where a minor mistake at one point in the procedure could lead to the incorrect steps being followed.

Besides, it's not like the doctors are going around apologizing on a regular basis. Saying "I'm sorry" is a way of showing empathy and concern for your fellow human being, and while it may also include a level of acceptance of a mistake, it at least is couched by a legitimate concern. After all, we're not talking about surgeons and residents going around saying "Oops" without a fear of repercussion. And it might actually cause people to feel somewhat better about the treatment, no matter the result, if they simply got the inkling that they were more than an insurance policy and a bunch of zeros to the people trying to fix them up.

In fact, if this legislation goes through, we think it deserves an "apology five".

Friday, March 13, 2009

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of March 9, 2009

Hello, everyone. What a week this has been, right? The arrest of a Ponzi schemer, a long election recount maybe finally being done, and, as always, an influx of foolish and/or drunken individuals doing just what their little hearts can't scream loud enough to not do. Ah, you can tell spring is in the air. So, let's get our awards going.

Looks Like a Duck, Quacks Like a Duck Award
Sometimes, celebrities do things that make us scratch our heads. Well, okay, so that happens a bit more than sometimes. But the latest comes from Mrs. Fresh Prince, who has opened up a private school to instruct children in the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. But don't worry, because it's not a Scientologist school. Because Hubbard was also known for his forays into anthropology, higher-level math, and chemistry.

Spiderman, Spiderman Award
A paraplegic man recently experienced something akin to a miracle, as he was able to walk again after a spider bit him. Now if he could only get the cute redhead next door to give him the time of day.

My Country or My HOA Award
When you sign an agreement with your Home Owner's Association, it's pretty binding. That means that you can't go around doing what you'd like with your property, if it's something the HOA has bylaws against. That's the problem that a Georgia man is struggling with, after he erected a 14-foot flagpole on his lawn. Because the flagpole attached to his house wasn't big enough. America, land of the free, and home of those who sue over a pole.

Offensive Driving Award
Seriously, there must be something about transporting large quantities of illegal materials that make people drive poorly. Reckless driving resulted in a ticket, and the discovery of 347 bags of heroin. What, were they high or something?

A Taxing Jolt Award
How do you get some more money into your state's coffers during these dark economic times? If you're Utah, you consider taxing caffeine. Always a bold political move, trying to alienate almost everyone in the state. Residents are a little jittery, and having been kept awake at night by the proposal.

Whee!!! Oops Award
In a stunning display of brilliance, a man who had evaded police for 21 years over drug charges was recently arrested. We say "stunning display of brilliance" because he got caught after shining a laser pointer at the police. Wonder if this guy had anything in common with the drivers mentioned just above?

Passing the Blame Award
There are definitely times where you may not be completely responsible for your actions, and your arguments could hold up well if charged with something. One of those times is probably not after a fatal hit-and-run accident, especially if your best excuse is that you suffer from PTSD from being hazed. Although that does explain a lot about some of our college classmates and their performance in class.

Well, that wraps up our awards for another week. We'll be back next week, as we participate in the annual ritual to destroy livers. Stay safe out there.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

That'll learn ya

Education is important. There's just no questioning how valuable regular schooling can be, especially during those critical developmental years of childhood. A well-rounded education can be critical for preparing children for the crippling disappointments, harsh cynicism, and bright successes that their futures may hold. Naturally, however that schooling is given, it's fairly critical that the student actually attend, so as to learn as much as possible.

Of course, there are some exceptions to the rule, and that's why a UK school has had to apologize for a truancy letter sent to one of their students. Apparently, when you're sick with leukemia and the Pope wants to meet you, it's alright to skip class.

How did this one slip through the administration's cracks? After all, it's not like this is a kid who's regularly missing class because they're sneaking off to smoke behind the gymnasium. It's cancer, and one would just have to assume that there would be some sort of note attached to the student's record to make sure that there was an understanding.

That, and the Pope wants to meet the kid. Maybe the other way around, but it's not every day that the Pope tells you to stop over and bring an extra Xbox controller. That should have been an immediate pass right there. It's good to see that the school is willing to admit to their error and make amends, and hopefully they won't run into a problem like this again in the future.

If only there was some sort of building where people could go to learn how to do things like read and take notes, possibly with testing for recollection.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Lost on the yard

At least we know now that crazy municipal ideas don't just happen on American soil. Thanks to a city in the United Kingdom, we can rest assured that the crazy has actually spread all the way across the globe, or at least to our parent nation.

After all, it isn't quite everywhere that you hear about satellite navigation on riding lawnmowers.

Scary, isn't it? To think, before this development, these poor mowers were out there on lawns and in fields, driving around willy-nilly, merely hoping that they'd be able to find their way back home. Sort of like Quantum Leap's Sam Beckett, without the holographic sidekick. And, apparently, much like Dr. Beckett, many of these mowers never returned home.

Oh sure, they downplay the lost mowers, and they talk about how the navigation will help mowers find those patches of grass that still need a good mowing, but we know that this is really a step to try and prevent more mysterious lawn-related disappearances. After all, how can we possibly trust people to find their way back over a few dozen yards of turf back to where they can get a warm meal and a refreshing beverage.

And let's not forget about the benefits for travelling on the freeways. Now, when you're tooling around at 15mph, you'll get plenty of warning as to where that Denny's with the overgrown lawn is.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Liver approved

Since we are closing in on St. Patrick's Day, it seems only appropriate that the news would start trotting out stories about how drinking can negatively affect people, especially when the drinking is done binge-style, as so many seem to do every March 17th. After all, the week between Christmas and New Year's tends to feature stories about depression, and Valentine's Day always has the featured articles on how to either a) avoid, or b) deal with, a break-up to your relationship. Labor Day has birth announcements. So why not just repeat an article that's been run many times before.

But wait, it seems like someone isn't following the rules. Dangers of drinking, people, not any potential benefits from doing so.

Okay, let's be clear on this. People have long accepted the notion that a glass of wine every day can help their heart. Well, if the doctor in the article is right (and, since he's Johns Hopkins-educated, we have no reason not to believe him... we went to a State school), then wine isn't the only thing that will help your health. And it's not just one glass a day, either. It's still moderation, instead of drinking to get drunk, but his experiences, and the research to back up those experiences, tend to point out that people who drank a little bit every day actually lived longer than people who never touched a drop.

In a lot of ways, this makes sense. True, longevity has gone up overall in people due to us taking better care of ourselves, and being better prepared to handle diseases and assorted accidents that would have previously cut our lives shorter. But, how often does one hear of a person making it to (or past) their 90th year, all the while drinking, smoking, and eating fatty foods, things that, by common belief, should have killed them years ago? Not saying that anyone should go out and embrace those lifestyles, especially in the face of a more moderate approach, but something has to be said for those people who allow themselves a little more enjoyment out of life, without worrying if every little thing they do is going to give them cancer.

Of course, when you take it to an extreme, you end up driving a car with only three tires. And nobody wants that.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Fight for your right for non-violence

People can get worked up about things. Sometimes that's good, when that energy and emotion can be poured into a positive effort. Take, for example, a community fighting back against violence. In response to a teen having been shot and killed last November, a Maryland community banded together to organize a "Stop the Violence" concert, trying to create another outlet.

Sometimes, however, that build-up of emotions can lead to bad things. A good example of that would be a group of 16 people getting arrested for fighting. At the above-mentioned "Stop the Violence" concert.

Yeah. Needless to say, something certainly didn't go the way that the organizers were planning. While it's possible that the teens simply missed the entire "Stop" portion of the promotion, it's also possible that they decided that the only way to truly stop violence was with more violence. After all, it could be their belief that, by eliminating a potential threat now, you've saved yourself a lot of grief later on. After all, look how that's worked for foreign affairs, and you can see exactly what we're talking about.

Of course, there's also the potential that the kids really did mean to fight, "Stop the Violence" or no. Sometimes, just getting people that shouldn't like each other can lead to that sort of spontaneous outburst of fighting. Other times, it leads to classic 80's movies, complete with dancing in the library.

Another possibility? Maybe there was an argument about who was stopping more violence, which just caused things to boil over. Here's a tip for those kids playing at home, though. If you're arguing about who causes less violence, you both (probably) lose.

On the plus side, they weren't driving around with pot plants in their pick-up truck.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Killer government

We find stories like this one every once in awhile, and we just have to embrace them. After all, it's one thing for a person to mistakenly think that someone they haven't heard from in many years may have shuffled off of this mortal coil. After all, that's part of why some people actually band together and place wagers on "death pools". It's less likely for a government to assume the same thing. One would assume that they had some way of checking.

Of course, when governments make that mistake, they always are quick to accept that there's an error, and they jump to fix the problem. No, wait, they usually make people jump through hoops to prove their own vitality, sometimes asking to speak to someone in charge of the estate.

For those playing at home that may not be aware, someone can only be in charge of an estate if someone has actually passed away. Therefore, no deceased party, no estate. In the story we connected to, the woman has been unable to make any headway with the Canadian government, because they want to take to someone involved with the estate. No matter how many ways she can prove to them that she's still alive, and quite well, actually, they seem to be having trouble taking her word for it.

In many ways, situations like this are only bound to pop up more frequently with the fears of identity theft, but we also think that the government should be a bit more understanding when someone is actually registered as deceased in their databases. After all, how many people want to go to the government offices when they haven't committed a crime, let alone when they have?

Either that, or this is further proof that zombies are living just to our north.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Taking what you can get

Sometimes, you just have to take what little you can, and accept that it's the best you could do. Of course, when you're engaged in a robbery, maybe that's not the best time to do so. After all, there's always the chance that, if you don't actually take anything, you might get a much lighter charge thrown your way.

In other words, what we're saying is that maybe it's not the best idea to steal some toilet paper when your victims don't have any money.

This can't even be a moral victory. Not only was the gunman unable to get the elderly couple to cough up any money, but he made do by stealing something he could have bought at the store for a couple of bucks. Of course, it's entirely possible that, having his plan foiled by the couple simply being broke at the time caused the robber to panic, rush into the nearest room he could find, grab an item or two at random, and run out.

For his sake, we have to hope that he was able to grab at least some two-ply.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

A cold one

When the public gets upset over a president having an affair during their time in office, we can understand. When they develop anger because a president has expanded their own powers to complete personal vendettas, we commend them. When they get into an uproar because a president has a beer at a sporting event, we jump ship.

Seriously, the guy was just having a beer, and watching some hoops. It's not like he later went on to fly Air Force One or anything.

While we can sort of see how people would get up in arms, we just can't support it. The President of the United States is, possibly, the most stressful job on the face of the planet, and we think that having a beer once in awhile might help the guy relax, and, hopefully, keep him from turning another country into a parking lot. Ironically, this is the same guy that people embraced wholeheartedly because he happened to have a beer on the campaign trail. Well, if you consider that something of a job interview, he pretty much admitted that, while holding office, he might have a beer or two.

Besides, this is the month of March. You know, St. Patrick's Day is coming up? A big Irish holiday? Maybe P.O. is just trying to connect with his Irish roots.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Leave a message

It's finally come to pass. For all of those people who feel that prayer wasn't a direct enough line, and yet were concerned that God didn't have a mailing address, a Dutch artist has given you an answer. Thanks to him, the Almighty is now just a phone call away.

Yes, now you too can leave God a message on his personal answering machine. Don't think you're going to get the big guy, though, as the number is programmed to say that God isn't in right now. Well, you know, that sort of disregards the omnipresent part of his powers, but we'll try and look past. Especially because it took the guy this long to finally get a phone line. At this rate, we're looking forward to God getting an iPhone within the next few thousand years.

You know, we've really only got one word for this. That word is "interesting". We can see how this could both serve a fantastic purpose, and how it could backfire. We also do firmly believe that it's part of the overall demand for instant gratification that springs through so much of our culture.

We know some people might be thinking "meh" about all of this, but we simply have to disagree. And only partially because we don't want the PC Guy upset with us.