Friday, May 05, 2006

It's hard out here for a pimp

So many things crossing over the news feeds today, and only one will get my caffeinated views. No, I'm not looking at GDub's decision to honor Cinco de Mayo by announcing that immigrants should learn English. I'm also avoiding stepping into the decision by Porter Goss to step down a mere 19 months into his term as CIA director, and how that impacts Pres. Decider's standing. And if you thought it was going to be a view into how, less than one week after Stephen Colbert ripped the press corps (and the Chief) a new one for how the media is pandering to the Oval Office, Paula Zahn practically attacked former CIA operative Ray McGovern for his calling out "Gin" Rummy on things he said, you were way off.

Looks like South Carolina may be about to step further into more adult material. Just one day after California started talking about banning people from having their own sonogram machines, Rep. Ralph Davenport (R-Boiling Springs) is trying to get legislation off the ground making sex toys illegal.

Right. Because the issue with the highest need for legislation is whether or not people can purchase vibrators, handcuffs, paddles, or anything else meant for sexual stimulation. After all, we can't just have people sitting in the privacy of their own home, pleasuring themselves, let alone pleasuring a willing partner, with rubber toys, or really much of anything that can run on a couple of batteries.

Seriously? South Carolina doesn't want there to be a sex toy industry? An industry that is mostly supported by upstanding citizens, who may or may not have a kinky side that tells them they can't get off without a good spanking, or a vibrating egg hidden and powered by remote control? What's next? Working on legislation to ban cellphones with a vibrate function? What about those back massaging chairs? And never mind the different cycles on the washing machine or pulsing shower heads.

Y'know, maybe they'll have some luck with this legislation if they try and focus on the "toy" portion of sex toy. Possibly by pointing out the choking hazards involved with "The Big One".

Just saying, is all.

2 comments:

Ty said...

But we can still use sonogram machines as sex toys, right?

Wylderwolf said...

From my understanding, we can most definitely use sonogram machines as sex toys.

Just as long as we're not in either California or South Carolina.