Friday, November 21, 2008

Coffee-Soaked Awards - Week of November 17, 2008

We're closing in on a day full of food, so we've naturally got a few stories cooked up that apply somewhat. We also have some stuffing to sit around the meat, and some stories that don't work well at all into a food analogy. So let's get rolling.

Danger Danger Award
It seems like a story like this comes along every year around this time. But just for anyone that didn't know, deep-frying a turkey could be dangerous. Um, yeah, for the turkey. For people, deep-frying a turkey is just delicious. Right? You know, just so long as you actually understand how to work a deep fryer, and have experience with one other than making french fries at McDonald's.

The Commercials Made Me Do It Award
Speaking of McDonald's, we've apparently found the root cause of childhood obesity. It's certainly not a lack of emphasis on proper nutrition and exercise. It's the commercials. Okay, so maybe they aren't the root of the problem, but they're apparently a factor. Which begs the question, if we can't trust commercials when TV is raising our kids, then who can we trust?

She's So Fine Award
Remember that Janet Jackson incident from a few years ago at the Super Bowl? No? Really? Anyways, it turns out that, even though there was a court ruling claiming that the network couldn't be responsible for the bared breast (which wasn't actually bared, by the way), the federal government is asking the Supreme Court to slap down a fine anyways. Apparently GDub doesn't want to be the only boob that costs people money in the next few months.

Precognitive Costuming Award
It's a case of life imitating art, or, at least, life imitating a Halloween idea. A person who went dressed as an inmate was later arrested. He's now wishing that he'd dressed as either Ozzy Osbourne or a basketball player.

For the Birds Award
Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin took part in a traditional turkey pardon this week, as you can see here. Just don't tell the other turkeys behind her, being lined up for butchering. The turkey who was pardoned is planning to be Palin's running mate in 2012, on account of having more experience handling sensitive issues.

Thanks, Newsweek! Award
Any publication with the word "news" in it should be respectable, right? Okay, maybe it only applies when "news" is first. So that's why we're so thankful that Newsweek took the time away from reporting on the economy, world affairs, and the political transition to let us know about dangerous dips. Their editorial staff wasn't mentioned.

Token Toke Award
Who would've known it? Apparently, the Dutch aren't the biggest fans of "drug tourists", given the strain it puts on small towns and out-of-the-way places that aren't necessarily prepared to handle the higher traffic flow. If only there was some sort of chemical they could take to mellow out a bit.

And that wraps it up for this week. We'll see you all on the other side of the weekend. Stay safe out there!

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