Wednesday, September 05, 2007

In search of a mastermind

It isn't difficult to become a criminal. Simply find some laws that you're interested in breaking, possibly even something as minor as disorderly conduct, and go crazy. To become a criminal mastermind, on the other hand, is a bit harder to do. Naturally, there's the implied need to break the law, possibly flaunting your distaste for the legal system while you do so. Then, of course, there's the mastermind element, which requires planning, forethought, and the ability to think quickly in order to outwit those attempting to capture you and bring you to justice.

Notice that nowhere in that list was there mention of writing your name on the wall of a crime scene. Take note, Peter Addison.

That's right, young Peter Addison, who, along with some friends, decided to have a good time by trashing an area at a camp for underprivileged children, also decided that it would be genius to leave a calling card, much like Batman villains. Unfortunately for Addison, his calling card wasn't a clever playing card or riddle, but the scrawled message "Peter Addison was here".

Needless to say, the message quickly led to Addison being arrested, and found guilty. The police even stated that "to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit" when it comes to criminal stupidity. So obvious was the message that those burgled thought that perhaps it was a red herring left for the police, only to be shocked when Addison was arrested.

Of course, this case provides some very good lessons for all of us. First off, before doing much of anything, make sure that you have the intellect to actually accomplish what you're trying to do, whether that be commit a crime, work at McDonalds, or fly a jumbo jet. Secondly, if you're going to bring friends, ensure that at least one of them is smarter than you, and will (hopefully) stop you from doing something absolutely moronic. And third, while it may be funny at the time to write your name above a piece of paper with the message "British Garden Birds R Gay" (guess which part was added), be sure that you either take your message with you, or that you use water-soluble ink, to erase any embarrassing evidence.

With the details of this story, we're frankly rather surprised that Addison wasn't shocked that they could possibly track him down. After all, we're willing to bet that he gets shocked when his shoes match.

No comments: