Thursday, December 13, 2007

Warning: May Contain Sarcasm

As a society, partially due to our overwhelming desire to sue people for damages regardless of whether or not we knew of the danger (we recall the coffee lawsuit), we have become infatuated with warning labels. It seems like every time we turn around, a new warning label is being created, ranging from the logical to the insane. After all, did we really need to be given a heads-up that our coffee may be hot? And, thanks to California, we now know that people there have found that drinking paint may be hazardous to our health.

Thankfully, there is a Wacky Warning Label Contest that's been happening recently, to help illustrate some of the bizarre warning labels that people discover. This year's winner, placed on a small tractor, is the simple and sublime "Danger: Avoid Death". Well, heck, if we hadn't been warned that we should avoid death, we might go out of our way to pursue it. Thank goodness there's a warning label.

Some of the other top selections included instructions for a t-shirt iron-on suggesting that people not iron the shirt while it's being worn, or a helpful suggestion to not place a baby inside of a storage bag for a stroller. Meanwhile, we're just wondering where the warning label trend will reach its conclusion.

For instance, is it too ridiculous to believe that we may see warning labels on ladders stating, "Caution: Ladder Will Take You Off Ground"? Or how about a warning for a telephone reading, "Warning: May Lead to Offensive Conversations"? Or how about our personal favorite potential warning label, reserved for CBS programming, "Danger: May Cause Severe Drowsiness".

Of course, if we continue in this vein, it will really only be a matter of time before we see a warning label attached to the Presidential podium, with the statement, "Warning: May Cause Drastic Shift in World's Perceptions". That's a warning label whose time has come.

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