Wednesday, January 10, 2007

When arachnids attack

Last year, it seemed like everywhere you went on the internet, you were forced to deal with press about how amazing the film Snakes on a Plane was going to end up being. When the movie actually opened, the internet's hype machine fizzled out, and the movie was met with lackluster audiences, and plenty of critics trashing it. It seemed that the hype had brought people's expectations about the film to feverish levels, when all the film really promised to do was to present you with Samuel L. Jackson, snakes, and a plane. The only thing missing from the B-movie recipe was an appearance from Bruce Campbell.

Now, it seems that reality has decided that we need a sequel to SoaP, but this time we aren't being given cute and cuddly serpents as the adversaries of people on planes. Oh no, this time we're facing arachnids with a sharp sting. And the best part is, we won't even need to change the acronym, because, instead of snakes, people are being attacked by scorpions.

Two different flights. Two passengers. Two scorpion stings, resulting in the passengers mentioning that it felt like their legs were asleep, but for the sharp stings. And, in both cases, the scorpions were castaways, with one being from Texas and the other from Costa Rica.

True, there hasn't been any word about a movie being greenlit to capitalize on these events, but that doesn't mean that it won't happen. After all, the producers will always be able to say that the film was inspired by true events. And the prospective audience will already be able to speak one line with the star of the film; "I want these motherf*****g scorpions off this motherf*****g plane!"

It's really too bad that the potential stars for such a film would be Ice Cube or David Arquette. But such is the fickle finger of fate.

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