Wednesday, January 23, 2008

How do you sign up?

Today presented us with some tough choices, and we had to weigh our decision carefully. Would we talk about the recently departed? Perhaps make some slams on a presidential candidate? Pick Fred Thompson as our subject, and kill two birds with one stone? Or would we just find another way to skewer science?

And then we were faced with choosing between a mug and a girl on a leash.

On one hand, you've got a "World's Greatest Dad" mug being presented in court as evidence that the suspect couldn't possibly have murdered his step-daughter. On the other hand, you've got a woman who refers to herself as a "pet" being upset that she was treated like an animal when she tried to board a bus. Both stories just seemed to beg for us to look a little deeper.

And then China came along and put its large Communist foot down. If it hadn't been for China deciding to ban unapproved reincarnation, we'd still be debating between the coffee mug or the girl who's soul is as black as French Roast.

Thank you, China. We understand that there are a few too many "living Buddhas" running around out there, and, well, we're fairly certain that by putting a stop to these unapproved reincarnations, you'll be able to cut their numbers down. Not only that, but you're practically assured of being able to direct the course of religion for a large number of people, given the large belief that many Buddhists have in the ability to reincarnate.

Of course, these permits also work additional wonders, as someone who proceeds to apply for the permission to return in a new life not only needs to be sure that they actually get to do so, but that they will come back as a socially beneficial being. With the advent of the permits, we may see fewer gnats and other pests around the globe. After all, if you have to get permission to reincarnate, are you going to want to run the risk that you might be something less than a benevolent mammal? Heck, you're probably going to make every effort to ensure that you return as a human.

So good for you, China. We're really proud of you taking this stand. And we're positive that you'll use your new responsibilities properly, and not just for your own personal gain. We'd really hate to think that this is all yet another move to spite the Dalai Lama.

We just hate to think of him frowning.

No comments: