Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Jump through the hoops

The Race for the Presidency (or, as we like to call it, Who's Bossing Who Now?) is heating up, especially after yesterday's results. HC was able to stave off the Obamanation for another few contests at least, setting the stage for a long, slow, and potentially painful nomination process. If things continue along these lines, there will barely be any time for the Democrats to run nationwide attack ads against the GOP nominee. By the same token, John "I Ate Grass and Fingernails" McCain, (henceforth referred to as Grampa MC) can't really start launching his own attacks against the donkeys, because, well, he can't be certain which one will come out ahead.

But Grampa MC did have something big happen in the last two days. Actually, two big things. First, Huckabee-the-Halfabee dropped from the campaign, a sign that even the man created by Stephen Colbert (who was created by Conan O'Brien, who was created by Jon Stewart, who was created by... um... well... Dave Chapelle and Jim Brewer?) can bow to the reality that he'd already lost, and it was no longer purposeful to keep chasing the brass ring. As for the second glowing moment?

He finally got the endorsement he'd been looking for. No, not Depends. We have no proof that he's incontinent. The endorsement he got came from GDub himself.

Whew. That was a close one. For awhile there, we really were wondering who the Decider might choose to back. Would it be the surprise comeback effort of Romney (who, admittedly, didn't even try to stage a comeback)? Would it be Ron Paul (beloved for his wacky belief that he actually had a shot)? Would the President just flip a coin, and end up endorsing the Lincoln Memorial?

No. GDub, not wanting to make the same mistake as Mother Superior (for reference, look up the lyrics to "Happiness is a Warm Gun"... you'll be glad you did), simply decided to wait until it was clear that he was picking the best horse to run the race. In fact, he waited until he picked the only horse still in the race that actually had a chance of finishing. And, as long as that race is for the GOP nomination, we're pretty certain that Grampa MC will be able to finish.

People have said in the past that the President has been too quick to make decisions, and that he hasn't looked at all of the important information before voicing his beliefs on a subject. Never let it be said that he was anything less than prudent in the Great White House Race 2008. He waited until the dust had settled, and picked the candidate that he felt the best about.

He picked the only one left.

Way to go, GDub. That's kind of like picking the Giants to beat the Patriots in the Superbowl, but doing it two weeks after the fact.

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