Monday, March 05, 2007

Howl at the moon

Those in the know would assure you that Fond du Lac, WI was a fairly sleepy little town, surely without too much in the realm of strange happenings. Those out of the loop would assume just about the same thing, with the possible suspicion that people have towards any small town in the Upper Midwest. But nobody could've ever guessed that Fond du Lac would be home to an appearance by a werewolf, let alone one that had been in prison only a few days earlier.

The "werewolf" was apprehended by police after breaking into the home of a woman who had allowed him to stay at her place while he secured himself a more permanent home. Upon his arrest, Robert Marsh told the police of his lycanthropic nature, and also told them about his ability to change shapes.

Naturally, this brings out our curiousity here at the CSM. What are the chances that a werewolf would be found in Wisconsin? Well, with the resurgence in the wolf population, we suppose that there could be a chance that a lycanthrope had tucked itself with the rest of their lupine brothers, even being able to sneak its way to landing a bite on the poor, unsuspecting Marsh. But when did this incident occur? When did he contract the disease? These questions are left unanswered, and we can only surmise a few reasons as to why.

The first reason we stumble across is that the Fond du Lac County Jail was actually working with the US Army and the DNR to create a super-soldier that was a wolf/human hybrid. However, due to a natural (or is it supernatural) aversion to silver, this experiment was deemed a failure, and the test subjects were released from their captivity. Another theory that we've come up with is that Marsh was in all actuality participating in a live-action role-playing game, and he merely thought that the police were other gamers. Unfortunately for Marsh, he didn't notice when they made it very clear that they were "out of character". Finally, there's a chance that Marsh took in a very unfortunate and ill-timed viewing of Teen Wolf, and, combined with the lunar eclipse, decided that he was just like Michael J. Fox. Perhaps if he hadn't been arrested when he was, there would've been a thrilling moment where our werewolf captured the hearts of the school, and his lady love.

Or maybe, and we admit we're going out on a limb here, maybe Robert Marsh was just a little bit off mentally, and that his declaration of his own werewolfiness was merely a way to try and secure himself a private kennel, er, um, cell.

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