Monday, May 05, 2008


There are plenty of things that a person can do to lose their job. Obvious options include theft, belligerence, a tendency to show up wearing only a thong and a smile (although, for some companies, that kind of uniform shows a willingness to move up in the world). Of course, for teachers, it seems, as of late, as though there's really only one thing that they can do to get ousted. We know that this isn't true, but it seems like every time we turn around, there's another teacher having inappropriate office hours with an underage pupil. They can claim that they're simply tutoring the students, but there just aren't that many sex ed classes.

So when we found a story today of a teacher losing their job, we wrote it off as another case of very bad touch. And then we read it. And now we know that you can get fired, at least in Florida, for wizardry.

That's right. After performing a magic trick for students, a substitute teacher was released from employment. Apparently making a toothpick disappear was just outside of the realm of reality for the school, and they took the only action that they could think to take. Thankfully, the teacher hadn't been in the middle of the "Sawed Woman" trick, because we're fairly certain that's one trick you can't just stop halfway.

Oh, and there are also accusations of the substitute not following the given lesson plans, but how can we be certain? Maybe he just made them disappear, or turned them into doves. After all, when wizardry is afoot, we can never be too careful.

Honestly, the school should have been tipped off when the teacher's credentials were delivered by an owl.

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